Overcoming Parental Alienation

Divorce is never straightforward and not every divorce is the same. The reason we are family law attorneys is because we are passionate about helping individuals and families going through really tough times. If I could summarize it, I would say that we do it for the kids.

One of the most heartbreaking moments that I witness as a family law and divorce attorney is when my clients tell me that their child is beginning to pull away. Whether the child outright refuses visits (or timesharing) or the child is gradually growing distant, parental alienation threatens more than your parenting time: it can undermine your child’s sense of security and warp their emotional development. 

As a family law attorney, I have represented mothers and fathers all over the State of Florida standing by their side in this very struggle. The term we use for this occurrence is “parental alienation.”  It is incredibly difficult for parents and the attorneys assisting them in these matters to navigate through the legal and emotional maze of chaos of a broken relationship caused by parental alienation. 

When there is parental alienation, it is not difficult to define our client’s goal. The goal is to restore trust and reestablish a nurturing healthy parenting relationship. Unfortunately, the path that we take to get to that goal can be long and treacherous.

What is the difference between Parental Alienation and Estrangement? 

At its core, parental alienation differs from legitimate estrangement. Estrangement arises when a parent’s harmful behavior (think: abuse, neglect, or chronic instability) rightly drives a child to keep their distance. The way I try to contextualize it is, the child distances themselves from their parent due to the parent’s actions or behavior. 

By contrast, alienation stems from one parent’s attempts to manipulate the child causing the child to reject the other parent. Alienation happens because the child, stuck in the middle, begins to align with one parent and reject the other based on the favored parents actions and words about the other parent. Some common “alienating behaviors” are: constant criticism about the other parent or their parenting style; guilt-trips (“How could you go see Dad when you know I’m lonely?”); one parent empowering the child to reject the rules of the other parent or even the timesharing schedule; one parent encouraging the minor child to have negative thoughts or feelings about the other parent; one parent encouraging the child to call the other parent by their first name instead of “mom” or “dad;”  and, even subtle interference with scheduled time. 

In Florida, Section 61.13 of the statutes makes it clear that our courts presume equal time-sharing is in your child’s best interest, so long as the parents act in the best interest of the minor children which includes, but is not limited to, “facilitating and encouraging a close and continuing parent-child relationship” between the other parent and the minor child. Someone who undermines another parent’s bond and attachment with the minor child violates a fundamental factor the court weighs when setting or modifying a parenting plan.

Reclaiming Connection: Your Action Plan Against Parental Alienation

You may already feel powerless in the face of a co-parent’s relentless negativity. Do not give up! You have tools at your disposal to break the pattern.

Start by minimizing the drama your child witnesses. When disagreements flare, take them behind closed doors or switch to written communication via a co-parenting app. By removing your child from the crossfire, you stop feeding the tension that fuels alienation. At the same time, quietly document any disparaging remarks or missed exchanges. I recommend that people consider creating a journal which is a simple log of dates, messages, and missed handoffs becomes compelling evidence if you need the court to intervene. Judges rarely act on vague allegations, but a clear timeline and proof of alienating behavior can be just what the court needs to intervene and possibly even require family counselling.

Reunite & Renew: Reunification Counseling to Repair Your Parent-Child Bond

Speaking of therapy, reunification counseling is often the cornerstone of healing. A clinician experienced in high-conflict separations will help your child process mixed feelings and rebuild trust in you, while coaching the alienating parent to end harmful patterns. In my experience, courts in Florida routinely support such interventions when they see a child’s emotional welfare at risk. By proposing a qualified mental health professional (with experience dealing with children and families dealing with parental alienation) and demonstrating your willingness to cooperate, you show both the court and your child that you prioritize healing over litigation.

Communication Made Clear

Beyond the courtroom, your tone matters immensely. Approach your child with empathy and calm, not frustration or blame. Instead of asking “Why won’t you go see Dad?” invite them into a dialogue: “I notice you’ve been upset about visits lately. Can you tell me how you feel?” Offer patience and validation—“It makes sense you’d feel confused” or “I understand it’s hard to hear negative things”—so your child knows their emotions are safe to express. Over time, that empathy can counteract the fear-based messaging planted by the alienating parent. DO NOT  bad mouth the other parent. Children take it personally and may pull away more. 

One final tip, use shared online calendars so everyone knows exactly when drop-offs and pick-ups occur. Adopt Bill Eddy’s BIFF method—communicate in a way that is Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—to keep exchanges civil and child-focused. And remember: consistency is your ally. Even if initial attempts meet resistance, showing up reliably and respectfully lays the groundwork for rebuilding trust.

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Contact TK Law for friendly, nonjudgmental guidance from some of Central Florida’s best family law and divorce attorneys.  Whether you need help shaping a parenting plan or if you are looking for an attorney to stand by your side and fight for you, we are available when you need it.

Call TK Law at 407-834-4847 now for a confidential consultation. When it comes to your family, you deserve a Firm that will stand by you.