Last week, the internet exploded when Coldplay’s stadium “kiss cam” landed on Andy Byron, the then-CEO of the data-ops company Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the firm’s chief of HR. Their startled faces (and the unmistakable embrace caught seconds earlier) flashed across the jumbo-screen and, within hours, across social media. It did not help that Coldplay frontman Chris Martin joked about the awkward Kiss Cam video by saying that the two could be “having an affair.”
Kiss Cam Showing Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot
By Saturday, Astronomer announced Byron’s resignation and an internal investigation, making a once-obscure tech leader the cautionary tale of 2025. The Guardian confirmed the pair had been placed on leave even before the board accepted Byron’s departure, underscoring how swiftly reputations (and marriages) can unravel.
For family-law clients, a viral video is not usually a part of the divorce process, but the shock of discovering infidelity feels just as public and raw. As a seasoned Divorce Attorney, there are three strategic and practical considerations that you should consider the moment you learn your spouse has been cheating.
However before we talk strategy, it is important to understand the concept of leverage in negotiations. In divorce negotiations, “leverage” is the practical or legal pressure that persuades the other spouse to settle on terms closer to your goals. Money, risk, timing, and reputation are all leverage points, but adultery can activate every one of them with proof and the proper arguments.
Adultery’s Impact on Your Case
Alimony. Florida’s alimony statute expressly allows a judge to “consider the adultery of either spouse and any resulting economic impact” when setting the amount or duration of support. If you can show that marital dollars funded the affair—plane tickets, hotel stays, lavish gifts—those expenditures don’t just sting emotionally; they become a spreadsheet that can justify higher alimony. Presenting these numbers in a confidential settlement proposal (“If we litigate, we will seek a support award that recoups the $18,400 you spent on the affair”) turns moral outrage into an economic argument a mediator understands.
Equitable Distribution. Adultery or an affair can tip the scales in equitable distribution. Florida courts have long approved unequal splits when marital assets were “dissipated” or wasted on an extramarital relationship which allows judges to assign the squandered dollars to the cheating spouse’s side of the ledger.
Leverage. Before you start negotiations, never forget about the value of reputation and ego. Executives, professionals, and community leaders often fear depositions, subpoenas, public hearings, or transcripts creating a public sideshow. Before dropping the bomb, calmly outline (never threaten) how adultery will come up in litigation which will require sworn testimony, bank and phone records, and the potential of third-party witnesses (including their boyfriend or girlfriend) and provide an alternate solution (a favorable settlement). To maximize (and not abuse) this leverage, lead with verified numbers, not anger; keep sensitive material inside confidential mediation or settlement talks; avoid language that sounds like blackmail; and balance short-term wins against long-term co-parenting stability. When wielded skillfully, proof of adultery shifts negotiations from emotion to economics, tilting the outcome without ever stepping into a courtroom.
Top 3 Tips When You Discover Evidence of an Affair
- Capture Evidence Before It Disappears. Just as that Kiss Cam clip became Exhibit A in the court of public opinion, evidence of an affair is powerful. Digital breadcrumbs can vanish overnight. Preserve text messages, banking alerts, shared photo streams, and location histories. Screenshot everything, back it up to a secure drive, and avoid confronting your spouse until after you have spoken with a Divorce Attorney about what is (and isn’t) admissible in court. Documenting every Venmo transfer and weekend getaway allows you to use that evidence to get a better outcome. Good documentation can mean the difference between speculation and a solid case for unequal distribution or alimony.
- Safeguard Your Financial Orbit. When a spouse strays, joint assets (including case) often follow. You may want to consider freezing unnecessary joint credit cards, reviewing account statements for unusual transfers (make sure to highlight those for your attorney), and update beneficiaries on life-insurance or retirement plans before you file for divorce. A skilled Divorce Attorney will walk you through your options and understand some of the risks associated with these changes (including staying in compliance with local administrative orders).
- Plan Your Public (and Private) Narrative
Byron’s downfall shows how quickly gossip becomes gospel. Resist the urge to vent on social media or via group texts; anything you post may be used against you in court. Instead, craft a calm, factual statement for close friends and family, ideally reviewed by your attorney, to keep rumors in check and allow you the opportunity to have your story heard without damaging your case. Simultaneously, secure emotional support: therapy, a support group, or a trusted friend of family member. Courts favor parents who model stability while judges (and opposing counsel) scrutinize angry posts far more than silent dignity.
Bottom line: Whether your heartbreak goes viral like Andy Byron’s Kiss Cam meme or if it unfolds in privately, the steps you take after you learn of an affair will shape the entire trajectory of your divorce. A proactive consultation with a Divorce Attorney will clarify your rights, protect your assets, and help you reclaim the narrative before someone else writes it for you. If you have any questions about how an affair impacts your divorce, feel free to call TK Law at 407-834-4847.
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